I Thought I’d Feel Different
A conversation with self!
I wanted my ecstasy to last
Gushing through winds on my bicycle
Easily I could climb onto it,
But couldn’t get off without falling.
Thrill faded and miles rolled under,
Now your feet touch the ground completely.
I thought I’d act all adult,
Tossed into a race with a bag of duties,
Don’t make silly faces in pictures,
Can’t you see how they all look at us
I still fall asleep on my desk sometimes.
I thought I’d feel wiser,
A tad mature for what could’ve been
A tad brighter even if not glowing.
You still ponder lastingly at the skies,
You live in tales & speak in nostalgia.
You thought you knew love.
All the while waiting for magic,
Carrying things left unsaid.
I wanted to feel different
Distance has its beauty, a mirage
She is as perfect to me, as he is to her.
I thought pride would stay,
Portraits and medals hang on the pale wall.
I thought I’d be more grateful,
Knowing my reasons for grief and joy.
I learnt to defend my ego,
To shield the ways I took, choices I made.
No one’s asking questions now,
A melancholic silence floats over the silver sea
Drifting away in ripples of repercussions.
Someone’s knocking inside of your skull
Wrecking havoc to be set free.
What is it that you want next?
A new feeling to rise from this stupor.
